The art of conversation, once considered the
sign of a civilized individual, seems less common today. Yet
I count the pleasures of sharing experiences, collecting news,
and exchanging ideas one of the pleasures of life. I make
a point of knowing my neighbors, allowing casual greetings
to become long conversations, and making time to explore the
feelings and perceptions of friends and relatives in depth.
These natural conversations provide information, encouragement,
and pleasure.
Many people say that they are too busy to have long talks.
Other people prefer to watch television, play computer games,
or listen to the radio rather than talk to relatives and friends.
Sometimes people feel too shy to speak to the people next
to them. Many Americans, it seems to me, have forgotten how
to hold good, deep conversations, or even a friendly chat
with neighbors. I suspect this lack of real communication
lessens their joy.
Of course, people learning English as a second, third, or
fourth language face even more barriers. English remains a
strange, confusing, difficult, and misspelled language –
and it’s easy to feel uncomfortable when speaking in
this new tongue. What questions can I ask? How do keep a conversation
going? What vocabulary words do I need? How do show my agreement,
or disagreement, in a lively, yet polite way? How can I share
my experiences in a clear manner? How can I reduce the possibility
of being misunderstood? How can I have better and more engaging
conversations in English?
Compelling Conversations: Questions and Quotations
on Timeless Topics addresses these issues for
both native and non-native speakers. The focus is on learning
by doing, and making good mistakes. (Good mistakes are mistakes
that are natural, and we can learn from so we can make different
and better “good mistakes” next time.) Each chapter
includes 30 or more questions, 10 or more focused vocabulary
words, a few proverbs, and 10 or more quotations. Although
designed for advanced students, intermediate ESL students
will find plenty of material to use and can benefit from exposure
to the new words, phrases, and questions.
Each of the 45 chapters focuses on a common conversation
topic. The questions allow the reader to practice exchanging
experiences and ideas in a natural style. You can add questions,
skip questions, and move on to related topics. Each chapter
begins with easier questions and moves on to questions that
are more abstract. Both native and non-native speakers will
find the questions allow one to share experiences, exchange
insights, and reflect on life. The questions are conversation
starters, and not scripts to rigidly follow. The goal remains
to create dialogue, increase understanding of other people,
and gently push you toward using a richer vocabulary in English
conversation.
Many of these conversation worksheets were originally developed
for an Advanced Conversation class that met 4 hours a week,
15 weeks a semester. The original college course textbook
offered little more than vocabulary lists, cost too much,
and avoided any topic that might cause any controversy. Several
lessons talked about the weather, colors, and very light topics.
So I dropped the book, and created conversation worksheets
with 30 or so questions on set topics that I wanted to discuss
with students. I didn’t come in with a set point of
view; I wanted to find out what people had experienced and
what they thought about both daily topics and the bigger questions
about our changing world. Why should we just talk about the
weather and become bored when we could explore our lives,
times, passions, and challenges?
Many students would contribute proverbs during our discussions.
Proverbs, sayings, and idioms can be very useful in daily
life. Often similar ideas, like “the sky is always blue
somewhere.” can be found across cultures. Proverbs can
point out some universal aspects of the human experience –
in 21st century America, 19th century England, 17th century
Paris – 4th century China, or 1st century Rome. Proverbs
will also often contradict each other, yet the trick is to
use the right proverb at the right time in the right situation.
Sometimes it’s good to know, and even hold, two opposite
ideas. “Where you stand, depends on where you sit.”
Therefore, each chapter includes a proverb section.
This collection of proverbs and quotations also includes
many insights from religious leaders and philosophers that
go back even more than 2,000 years such as Buddha, Confucius,
Aristotle, and the Biblical prophets. These quotations remind
us that some conversations have spanned centuries and cultures.
The selected quotations present a wide range of ideas, beliefs,
and perspectives. Some quotations might make you laugh, some
might make you sigh, and a few might even annoy you. This
collection is a free speech zone. Join the conversation. Share
your ideas.
Including classic quotations also helps preserve the insights
and comments of well-known and significant cultural figures.
This helps us escape the too-common delusion that the world
began where we were born and helps provide perspective. Sometimes
knowing the speaker and historical era provides another way
of looking at modern pleasures and problems.
Allow me to share a few more tips for satisfying conversations
with your partners:
- Be active
- Be curious
- Be encouraging
- Be kind
- Be open
- Be tolerant
- Be yourself
Your English may not be perfect yet, but daily practice does
lead to significant progress. Compelling Conversations gives
you the tools and phrases to talk more and listen better to
friends and strangers in English. Finally, I hope you create
and have many compelling conversations!
Eric Roth
eric@compellingconversations.com
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Compelling
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